patentcad

How dumb is the USE Alien carbon seat post? I've had two of them on two road bikes for a couple of years. My LBS is so fed up with these crappy things they won't recommend them to anybody anymore. This post came OEM on my 2006 Cannondale Six13. I have given up on one of my two, I have a Control Tech post on order.

I will however be selling my seat post to some unsuspecting sap on eBay. Astonishingly, this post retails new for like $200. God what a nightmare, you have to live with this ******** thing to believe it. The fact that a friggin seat post could illicit such whining should give you a clue how bad it is. A seat post should be like a faucet - something you never think about.

I am convinced that the engineers that designed this thing have moved on from USE to Microsoft and had a hand in Windows Vista.

Sprocket_Jockey

What's so bad about it?

johnny99

How about telling us exactly what is wrong with it? Does it not hold your seat up?

merlinextraligh

the whole seatpost concept is overated

patentcad

The bolt(s) (the newer post has one, the older two) are easy to strip. Maybe that's because to keep your seat from moving you have to apply 90 lb feet of torque to what is a 1-2mm allen bolt. This leads to stripping sooner or later. Then the bolts loosen when you ride and the seat moves - you find yourself with the nose of the saddle sticking up your ass after the seat slips back. Then when you want to move the seat you have to slam the back of this idiot thing with a friggin hammer to loosen it up. Even after it has slipped while you're riding. No kidding. A nightmare. I've never seen anything remotely this bad in 20 years of high end road bike ownership. Like I said, my LBS hates them more than I do.

Your disbelief comes from a lack of familiarity with this unspeakable piece of **** component. I'd sell you mine, but you would eventually find me and kill me. A seat post should be transparent and something you ignore. If it doesn't work, it makes your bike unrideable. I'm not riding my Cdale right now. Waiting for the Control Tech seat post to arrive. The bolt on the Alien post is stripped. Again. For the third time in two years. Why is it stripped? Because it's constant propensity to loosen requires persistent re-tightening. And eventually, it strips.

It's the Microsoft Windows Vista of seat posts.

Sprocket_Jockey

+1 HTFU

Seats are for sissy boys.

Namenda

Get a Ritchey or a Thomson, and all your problems will disappear. I promise.

spry

My God man.
Just look at it!
The thought of my bum sitting on that post with the clamp on top scares the chicken out of me!

patentcad

I've never seen a seat post that was like this. Every other one I've ever had works. You adjust it once and you're done forever. In fact I have a USE post on my TT bike with a design that's actually very practical. So they are capable of non-******** engineering at USE. They didn't achieve it with the Alien post.

Call Bill (the head mechanic) at Piermont Bicycle Connection and ask him what he thinks of the USE Alien.

Sprocket_Jockey

Kill it with fire. It's the only way to be sure.

patentcad

That's not a bad idea. If a bicycle component can be a witch, this is it.

Sirrobinofcoxly

Not to mention that it's Fugly.

patentcad

I'm Fugly too but I function.

Walter

On the rant-o-meter that ranks pretty high. I understand it though. The only time I can recall seatpost problems was with the no-namer that came on a late 90s Univega. To spend USE money and get crap would be frustrating indeed.

patentcad

I hear you, but when you're hammering along @ 28 mph the last thing you need is to discover your idiot seat post is making your bike unrideable when there's 10 miles to go - the hardest ten miles - on your ride or race. That has happened to me a couple of times with the Alien.

It will not happen again. I pity the fool who buys this on eBay. I figure it brings at least $75. And they'll never find me (I have somebody else who will eBay it for me).

StupidlyBrave 

I recommend cranking up the hatred a bit here and putting it right in the ebay description.

I think the high bid will be somewhat proportional to the investment you make in comical satire.

ElJamoquio

Masterpiece, pcaddy. Schwagadelic.

barba

I am with you on Thomson, but I hate my Ritchey WCS alloy post. It is an immense pain to install a saddle on and adjust the tilt.

wagathon

I like my Alien ...

... you know about the single bolt (Cyclops) clamp kit, right?


Brilliant!

ElJamoquio

The WCS is a pain to adjust, you are correct, but once installed, I never had problems.

ChunkyB

Functional + Ugly = Fugly. How's that.

I think that's exactly how my wife would describe me.

Mitro

I HATE the USE seatpost, I got one thrown in with a frame I bought - took about 15 mins to figure out why they threw it in. Sure it's light, but you may have to buy a different clamp if you have certain saddles - as the rails wont fit - and the little bolt sucks. Worst seatpost I've ever used - I sold mine to someone on ebay too - can't believe they paid $80 for it. This might be the first time I've ever agreed with Pcad. Damn.

agilis

It took me 10 years to finally get a Thomson. One of the best moves I've made. I got the silver Masterpiece. Looks great on my Ti bike and it is precision perfect!

patentcad

That's the bolt that is currently SUBAR (Stripped Unbelievably Beyond All Recognition). Sweet Mother of Merckx what a dumbass bike part.

patentcad

You will learn that when you read Pcad's Posts you are accessing The Word.

Oh yes.