formula4

I was up all of tonight, I couldn't sleep. I decided that I would ride a 40 miler when the sun came up 'cause I've been wanting to ride lately and haven't gotten the chance. Maybe this was the first mistake

By the time 6am rolled around, I was ready to ride. I knew I had no spare tube, but since I get flats only once a blue moon, I thought I would be fine.

Cell phone? Psh. Only losers pay for that stuff. I hate phones. Who needs it when I have super powers to communicate when there's a problem

Helmet? Nah. I'm gonna be riding in the country with no obstacles, and I'm tired of that thing choking me anyways. I am too lazy to adjust it, so I will go without it.

Ah yes, I am now blasting away 10 miles out into the countryside. I see for the first time that I am going 26mph on a flat! I feel like Eddy or Lance! Must be the new aerobars

Ah yes, smiley faces. What a happy guy I was.

Speaking of riding on flats, I was about to get one. What a delight! I just looove riding on a rim for ten+ miles at 6mph.

I decide to go the wrong way down the road in order to get home quicker. There's no way I'm going longer than I have to. There is a wide shoulder and plenty of room for vehicles to pass. (oh, another good idea. ) I am now on the access road of the highway. It is 2 lanes one way. A semi with a trailer attached sees me and attempts to switch lanes. He almost hits an SUV, it was scary to watch! The whole damned trailer could have easily wiped me out if he were to lose control. Not to mention killed the other driver.

Another few minutes later, I pass a cyclist... I am in his way obviously. I can only imagine what he's thinking seeing some guy on a bike with no helmet, on a flat tire, going the wrong way. I gave the best 'I am a moron' look and went on my way.

And now I am home... just thought I'd share. I feel the need to ride a Barbie bicycle for a few weeks until I get my act together. Please feel free to blast me out of the universe with degrading comments! Or other stories of stupidity.

Albany-12303

Barbie or Dora bike, you now have a choice.

55/Rad

I don't know whether to believe you actually did this or just enjoy creative writing and placing yourself in the role of the incompetent.

Either way, good story and great message.

55/Rad

formula4

It's true. If someone sends me a barbie/dora jersey I will wear it and take pics for amusement.

The ride was very fun though (for the first part). Some guy here called me a barney or something for putting a pair of nice aerobars on the roadbike. Today was my first good ride with them. I love it. If Being a 'Barney' means what I think it means, then I guess I have proven him wrong today. Maybe I could wear a Barney jersey instead.

rufvelo

Why was the other cyclist in the semi, trying to hit the SUV, going the wrong way?

formula4

I don't know what you're trying to say, so I had some fun and made a map to clarify.

1. Shows the truck and SUV coming my direction.

2. Shows the other cyclist later down the road.

edit: pluto is 30-50AU, not 200.

rufvelo

From the pic it appears there's just enough room for the truck and SUV to squeeze by each other. Why would you lie about this? Something is very fishy about your story.

And who's Pluto?

formula4

I know... I am a very confusing guy. I just can't wait to ride again.

rufvelo

Just messing with you

Remember 2 spare tubes, and helmet, and phone, and tire levers, and ...

gurana

HILARITY!

I was thinking that 200 AU seemd a bit much I can feel you on the sleep deprivation thing. It never occured to me to ride after a missed night of sleep, and now thankfully it probably never will.

formula4

not a clue. this was 14 hours ago and im still awake. its cyclesidus or something like that. a horrible disease where you cant sleep till you're done with a successful ride.

i am le tired.