Post your cycling humor here. I'll start....
#126
Senior Member
Join Date: Apr 2014
Location: Back in Lincoln Sq, Chicago...🙄
Posts: 1,612
Bikes: '84 Miyata 610 ‘91 Cannondale ST600,'83 Trek 720 ‘84 Trek 520, 620, ‘91 Miyata 1000LT, '79 Trek 514, '78 Trek 706, '73 Raleigh Int. frame.
Liked 372 Times
in
221 Posts
Wow that's an impressive compilation. Reminds me of "Step Right Up" by Tom Waits. A few selected lyrics (if that's too much to read all, just skip down to the last 3 lines, priceless!):
Apologies for straying off-topic. I'll be strictly on topic from now on, honest.
You can drive it away today.
One size fits all
No muss, no fuss, no spills
You tired of kitchen drudgery
Skip the middle man
Don't settle for less
How do we do it?
How do we do it?
Volume! volume!
Turn up the volume!
That's right it filets
It chops, it dices, it slices
It never stops
Lasts a lifetime,
And it mows your lawn
It picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair
It gets rid of embarrassing age spots
It delivers the pizza
And it lengthens
And it strengthens
And it finds that slipper that's been lodged under the
Chaise lounge for several weeks
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
And it's only a dollar...
If not completely satisfied
Mail back unused portion of product for a complete refund of price of purchase
Please allow thirty days for delivery
Don't be fooled by cheap imitations
You can
Live in it
Laugh in it
Love in it
Swim in it
Sleep in it
Live in it
Swim in it
Laugh in it
Love in it
And it removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets
That's right
And it entertains visiting relatives
It turns a sandwich into a banquet
Tired of being the life of the party
Change your shorts
Change your life
Change into a 9 year old Hindu boy
Get rid of your wife
And it walks your dog
And it doubles on sax
It gets rid of your gambling debts
It quits smoking
It's a friend, it's a companion
It's the only product you will ever need
It never needs ironing
Well it takes weights off hips
Bust
Thighs
Chin
Midriff
Gives you dandruff
And it finds you a job
It is a job
It's new, it's improved, it's old fashioned
Well it takes care of business
Never needs winding
Never needs winding
Never needs winding
Gets rid of blackheads, heartbreak, and psoriasis
Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak buddy
'Cause it's effective
It's defective
It disinfects
It's sanitised for your protection
It gives you an erection
It wins the election
Why put up with painful corns any longer
It's a redeemable coupon
No obligation
No salesman will visit your home
We need your bidness
We're going out of business
We'll give you the business
Get on the business end of our
Going out of business sale
Receive our free brochure
Free brochure
Read the easy to follow assembly instructions
Batteries not included
Send before midnight tomorrow
Terms available
You got it buddy
The large print giveth
And the small print taketh away
.One size fits all
No muss, no fuss, no spills
You tired of kitchen drudgery
Skip the middle man
Don't settle for less
How do we do it?
How do we do it?
Volume! volume!
Turn up the volume!
That's right it filets
It chops, it dices, it slices
It never stops
Lasts a lifetime,
And it mows your lawn
It picks up the kids from school
It gets rid of unwanted facial hair
It gets rid of embarrassing age spots
It delivers the pizza
And it lengthens
And it strengthens
And it finds that slipper that's been lodged under the
Chaise lounge for several weeks
It makes excuses for unwanted lipstick on your collar
And it's only a dollar...
If not completely satisfied
Mail back unused portion of product for a complete refund of price of purchase
Please allow thirty days for delivery
Don't be fooled by cheap imitations
You can
Live in it
Laugh in it
Love in it
Swim in it
Sleep in it
Live in it
Swim in it
Laugh in it
Love in it
And it removes embarrassing stains from contour sheets
That's right
And it entertains visiting relatives
It turns a sandwich into a banquet
Tired of being the life of the party
Change your shorts
Change your life
Change into a 9 year old Hindu boy
Get rid of your wife
And it walks your dog
And it doubles on sax
It gets rid of your gambling debts
It quits smoking
It's a friend, it's a companion
It's the only product you will ever need
It never needs ironing
Well it takes weights off hips
Bust
Thighs
Chin
Midriff
Gives you dandruff
And it finds you a job
It is a job
It's new, it's improved, it's old fashioned
Well it takes care of business
Never needs winding
Never needs winding
Never needs winding
Gets rid of blackheads, heartbreak, and psoriasis
Christ, you don't know the meaning of heartbreak buddy
'Cause it's effective
It's defective
It disinfects
It's sanitised for your protection
It gives you an erection
It wins the election
Why put up with painful corns any longer
It's a redeemable coupon
No obligation
No salesman will visit your home
We need your bidness
We're going out of business
We'll give you the business
Get on the business end of our
Going out of business sale
Receive our free brochure
Free brochure
Read the easy to follow assembly instructions
Batteries not included
Send before midnight tomorrow
Terms available
You got it buddy
The large print giveth
And the small print taketh away
Apologies for straying off-topic. I'll be strictly on topic from now on, honest.
Only $14.95!
Pregnant women, the elderly and children under 10 should avoid prolonged exposure to Happy Fun Ball! Caution: Happy Fun Ball may suddenly accelerate to dangerous speeds! Happy Fun Ball contains a liquid core which, if exposed due to rupture, should not be touched, inhaled or looked at. You should discontinue use of Happy Fun Ball if you experience Heart palpitations, Slurred speech, Loss of balance or coordination. Happy Fun Ball may stick to certain types of skin. When not in use, Happy Fun Ball should be kept in it’s original shipping container and refrigerated. Failure to follow these instructions relieves Wacky Products Incorporated and Global Chemical Unlimited, of any and all liability. Ingredients of Happy Fun Ball contains an unknown glowing substance which fell to Earth, presumably from outer space.
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball.
Likes For Chr0m0ly:
#128
tantum vehi
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Flathead Valley, MT
Posts: 4,467
Bikes: More than I care to admit
Liked 1,051 Times
in
510 Posts
__________________
1970 Gitane TdF; 1973 Gitane TdF
1979 Trek 710; 1981 Trek 412; 1981 Trek 710
1984 Specialized Stumpjumper Sport; 1985 Specialized Allez SE; 1988 Specialized Sirrus; 1989 Specialized Rock Combo
1984 Ross Mt. Hood
1988 Centurion Ironman Expert
1991 Bridgestone RB-1
1992 Serotta Colorado TG
2015 Elephant NFE
1979 Trek 710; 1981 Trek 412; 1981 Trek 710
1984 Specialized Stumpjumper Sport; 1985 Specialized Allez SE; 1988 Specialized Sirrus; 1989 Specialized Rock Combo
1984 Ross Mt. Hood
1988 Centurion Ironman Expert
1991 Bridgestone RB-1
1992 Serotta Colorado TG
2015 Elephant NFE
Likes For mountaindave:
#129
tantum vehi
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Flathead Valley, MT
Posts: 4,467
Bikes: More than I care to admit
Liked 1,051 Times
in
510 Posts
__________________
1970 Gitane TdF; 1973 Gitane TdF
1979 Trek 710; 1981 Trek 412; 1981 Trek 710
1984 Specialized Stumpjumper Sport; 1985 Specialized Allez SE; 1988 Specialized Sirrus; 1989 Specialized Rock Combo
1984 Ross Mt. Hood
1988 Centurion Ironman Expert
1991 Bridgestone RB-1
1992 Serotta Colorado TG
2015 Elephant NFE
1979 Trek 710; 1981 Trek 412; 1981 Trek 710
1984 Specialized Stumpjumper Sport; 1985 Specialized Allez SE; 1988 Specialized Sirrus; 1989 Specialized Rock Combo
1984 Ross Mt. Hood
1988 Centurion Ironman Expert
1991 Bridgestone RB-1
1992 Serotta Colorado TG
2015 Elephant NFE
Likes For mountaindave:
#130
Senior Member
Likes For madpogue:
#131
Senior Member
Join Date: Dec 2016
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 2,226
Bikes: Trek 800 x 2, Schwinn Heavy Duti, Schwinn Traveler, Schwinn Le Tour Luxe, Schwinn Continental, Cannondale M400 and Lambert, Schwinn Super Sport
Liked 1,115 Times
in
719 Posts
This is not exactly C&V, but it is cycling humor:
Likes For Velo Mule:
Likes For Reynolds:
#133
blahblahblah chrome moly
Just a typo is my guess. Yes you can make a typo when hand-writing (not typing)!
Someone needs to inform the cartoonist so he can publish a corrected version.
#134
Standard Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Brunswick, Maine
Posts: 4,353
Bikes: 1948 P. Barnard & Son, 1962 Rudge Sports, 1963 Freddie Grubb Routier, 1980 Manufrance Hirondelle, 1983 F. Moser Sprint, 1989 Raleigh Technium Pre, 2001 Raleigh M80
Liked 1,058 Times
in
526 Posts
__________________
"Chim-chiminey, chim-chiminey, chim-chim cheroo"
"Chim-chiminey, chim-chiminey, chim-chim cheroo"
Likes For 1989Pre:
#135
Senior Member
Likes For gearbasher:
#136
tantum vehi
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Flathead Valley, MT
Posts: 4,467
Bikes: More than I care to admit
Liked 1,051 Times
in
510 Posts
Pic assist:
__________________
1970 Gitane TdF; 1973 Gitane TdF
1979 Trek 710; 1981 Trek 412; 1981 Trek 710
1984 Specialized Stumpjumper Sport; 1985 Specialized Allez SE; 1988 Specialized Sirrus; 1989 Specialized Rock Combo
1984 Ross Mt. Hood
1988 Centurion Ironman Expert
1991 Bridgestone RB-1
1992 Serotta Colorado TG
2015 Elephant NFE
1979 Trek 710; 1981 Trek 412; 1981 Trek 710
1984 Specialized Stumpjumper Sport; 1985 Specialized Allez SE; 1988 Specialized Sirrus; 1989 Specialized Rock Combo
1984 Ross Mt. Hood
1988 Centurion Ironman Expert
1991 Bridgestone RB-1
1992 Serotta Colorado TG
2015 Elephant NFE
Likes For mountaindave:
#137
Crawlin' up, flyin' down
Join Date: Jan 2006
Location: Democratic Peoples' Republic of Berkeley
Posts: 5,912
Bikes: 1967 Paramount; 1982-ish Ron Cooper; 1978 Eisentraut "A"; two mid-1960s Cinelli Speciale Corsas; and others in various stages of non-rideability.
Liked 2,937 Times
in
1,230 Posts
__________________
"I'm in shape -- round is a shape." Andy Rooney
"I'm in shape -- round is a shape." Andy Rooney
Likes For bikingshearer:
#138
#139
blahblahblah chrome moly
Likes For bulgie:
Likes For gearbasher:
#141
tantum vehi
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Flathead Valley, MT
Posts: 4,467
Bikes: More than I care to admit
Liked 1,051 Times
in
510 Posts
__________________
1970 Gitane TdF; 1973 Gitane TdF
1979 Trek 710; 1981 Trek 412; 1981 Trek 710
1984 Specialized Stumpjumper Sport; 1985 Specialized Allez SE; 1988 Specialized Sirrus; 1989 Specialized Rock Combo
1984 Ross Mt. Hood
1988 Centurion Ironman Expert
1991 Bridgestone RB-1
1992 Serotta Colorado TG
2015 Elephant NFE
1979 Trek 710; 1981 Trek 412; 1981 Trek 710
1984 Specialized Stumpjumper Sport; 1985 Specialized Allez SE; 1988 Specialized Sirrus; 1989 Specialized Rock Combo
1984 Ross Mt. Hood
1988 Centurion Ironman Expert
1991 Bridgestone RB-1
1992 Serotta Colorado TG
2015 Elephant NFE
Likes For mountaindave:
#142
Senior Member
I noticed a number of threads yesterday that seemed to be having picture issues. Seems to be solved now, though. Now, getting back on-topic (no warnings required for link):
https://www.gocomics.com/frazz/2011/10/15
https://www.gocomics.com/frazz/2011/10/15
Likes For Hondo6:
Likes For santa fe 2926:
Likes For gearbasher:
#145
blahblahblah chrome moly
I like to think I can laugh at myself and other cyclists, but I just find these lame, petty, and utterly lacking a quality I call "humor".
I'm glad I don't have to come up with a funny comic 7 days a week, sounds impossible, so maybe I'm expecting too much. Bill Watterson somehow pulled it off though! I still grieve for the end of Calvin & Hobbes.
Swerving back on topic (I hope!):
Likes For bulgie:
#147
tantum vehi
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Flathead Valley, MT
Posts: 4,467
Bikes: More than I care to admit
Liked 1,051 Times
in
510 Posts
I can just keep posting these all day long…
Me in a nutshell.
Me in a nutshell.
__________________
1970 Gitane TdF; 1973 Gitane TdF
1979 Trek 710; 1981 Trek 412; 1981 Trek 710
1984 Specialized Stumpjumper Sport; 1985 Specialized Allez SE; 1988 Specialized Sirrus; 1989 Specialized Rock Combo
1984 Ross Mt. Hood
1988 Centurion Ironman Expert
1991 Bridgestone RB-1
1992 Serotta Colorado TG
2015 Elephant NFE
1979 Trek 710; 1981 Trek 412; 1981 Trek 710
1984 Specialized Stumpjumper Sport; 1985 Specialized Allez SE; 1988 Specialized Sirrus; 1989 Specialized Rock Combo
1984 Ross Mt. Hood
1988 Centurion Ironman Expert
1991 Bridgestone RB-1
1992 Serotta Colorado TG
2015 Elephant NFE
Likes For mountaindave:
#148
Bianchi Goddess
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Shady Pines Retirement Fort Wayne, In
Posts: 28,140
Bikes: Too many to list here check my signature.
Liked 3,275 Times
in
1,652 Posts
__________________
“One morning you wake up, the girl is gone, the bikes are gone, all that's left behind is a pair of old tires and a tube of tubular glue, all squeezed out"
Sugar "Kane" Kowalczyk
“One morning you wake up, the girl is gone, the bikes are gone, all that's left behind is a pair of old tires and a tube of tubular glue, all squeezed out"
Sugar "Kane" Kowalczyk
Likes For Bianchigirll:
#150
Standard Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Location: Brunswick, Maine
Posts: 4,353
Bikes: 1948 P. Barnard & Son, 1962 Rudge Sports, 1963 Freddie Grubb Routier, 1980 Manufrance Hirondelle, 1983 F. Moser Sprint, 1989 Raleigh Technium Pre, 2001 Raleigh M80
Liked 1,058 Times
in
526 Posts
I don't know who David Boucher is, but I loved this video. Singer's hyper-active knees are to be noted. Bass had a nice, round tone. Guy on the telecaster had the right stuff. I am wondering if David Boucher is related to football phenom Bobby Boucher? I like when the bimbettes entered.
__________________
"Chim-chiminey, chim-chiminey, chim-chim cheroo"
"Chim-chiminey, chim-chiminey, chim-chim cheroo"