Spontaneous Combustion on a Fixie
03-20-06, 04:48 PM
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Spontaneous Combustion on a Fixie
Funny story---
I got up early and went out for a morning ride. For my outer layer, i donned a sweatshirt i wore last night while visiting my lady friend. After i finished my ride, i was riding into my apt complex and decided to have that lovely after-ride smoke. I pulled out my matches and when i struck the match while riding no-handed, part of the matchtip broke off and bounced off the matchbook onto my sweatshirt. So as to overpower my lady friend with my manly scent, I donned copious amounts of colonge on my sweatshirt the previous night.
The result was my entire chest lit up in flames. As i was waving my arms frantically to put out the flames, i lost my balance and managed to crash into the side of my garage in a spectacular fashion. A lady was driving past me on my way to work and saw me go up in flames. She came running over frantically with her cell phone and said she was calling an ambulance and had never seen anyone spontaneously combust before.
I assured her all was well and told her what happened---she never saw me lighting a smoke---
It must have looked pretty funny to see someone riding no handed and erupt in flames.
I got up early and went out for a morning ride. For my outer layer, i donned a sweatshirt i wore last night while visiting my lady friend. After i finished my ride, i was riding into my apt complex and decided to have that lovely after-ride smoke. I pulled out my matches and when i struck the match while riding no-handed, part of the matchtip broke off and bounced off the matchbook onto my sweatshirt. So as to overpower my lady friend with my manly scent, I donned copious amounts of colonge on my sweatshirt the previous night.
The result was my entire chest lit up in flames. As i was waving my arms frantically to put out the flames, i lost my balance and managed to crash into the side of my garage in a spectacular fashion. A lady was driving past me on my way to work and saw me go up in flames. She came running over frantically with her cell phone and said she was calling an ambulance and had never seen anyone spontaneously combust before.
I assured her all was well and told her what happened---she never saw me lighting a smoke---
It must have looked pretty funny to see someone riding no handed and erupt in flames.
03-20-06, 05:07 PM
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Yes, aside for some cuts and bruises and bruised ego
sweatshirt is ruined though
lessen: take it easy on the use of BodMan
sweatshirt is ruined though
lessen: take it easy on the use of BodMan
03-20-06, 05:31 PM
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Originally Posted by morbot
photos plz
this should be the new final challenge in trackstand competitions, after the no-legged
this should be the new final challenge in trackstand competitions, after the no-legged
I think one of my old college buddies has a picture of me lighting my chest hair on fire though
03-20-06, 05:48 PM
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So the lesson learned is get a windproof lighter.
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03-20-06, 06:08 PM
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catching breathe... glad you ok, and hope it wasn't your favorite sweatshirt.
Originally Posted by skanking biker
i'm waiting for a "burnin' fabian" photo
03-20-06, 06:16 PM
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ha ha ha. totally should be the final challenge.
03-20-06, 06:53 PM
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The flaming trackstand....? Damn the competitions are getting more and more fierce.
Jees glad you're ok. you are one lucky SOB...I had a match head strike and disappear into my polyester undershirt and totally burnt part of my chest...no flames though. You totally win.
Jees glad you're ok. you are one lucky SOB...I had a match head strike and disappear into my polyester undershirt and totally burnt part of my chest...no flames though. You totally win.
03-20-06, 07:43 PM
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you should have told the lady you just spontaneously combusted and then just shrugged it off like it was nothing. she would have totally believed you and would have told everyone she knows. she would never forget you...ever.
legendary
legendary
03-20-06, 09:17 PM
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Not quite calling bullsh** yet, but I'm a little confused as to how this would happen. Anything that volatile in cologne (alcohol is the usual culprit) would have evaporated after a few minutes...perhaps hours if you really doused it, but then you would probably have passed out from the fumes. No way there was enough of that substance left on there the next day to ignite on incidental contact with a match head. Sweatshirt itself is probably cotton and would take a whole lot more intense heat to even smolder. Don't make me put on my Mythbusters hat.
03-20-06, 09:26 PM
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I think r-dub needs to cross-examine the alleged eye witness!
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03-21-06, 03:06 AM
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Originally Posted by teadoggg
juvi-kyle does a "flaming trackstand" everytime he trackstands.
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03-21-06, 03:10 AM
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he is?
03-21-06, 08:27 AM
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well, seeing as the only area that lit up was where the cologne was used, i am assuming it was from that--its not like a burst into a flaming fireball for 5 minutes---my chest just lit up and was pretty much out by the time i hit the ground---the sweatshirt is brown where it lit, but its not blackened and there aren't any wholes. I don't think cologne evaporates after 5 hours---i could still smell it on the sweatshirt when i went out for the ride.
03-21-06, 10:41 AM
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Should the flaming cyclist/trackstand be called the skanking biker, or the Johnny Storm?
03-21-06, 12:54 PM
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The irony is that i used so much colagne to cover up the fact that i am smoking--my gf thinks i quit---karma is not nice